Hey, hey, It’s Depression

While my meds work pretty well, they are not magic. And every once in awhile, the waves of my bipolar disorder swamp the boat of my mood stabilizer, as it were.

And that happened three days ago, and it derailed my writing momentum pretty hard, as well as my workout, which I had managed not to miss a single one of (although I did day shift a few times) until this week.

I was about 1100 words into a teenage romance mystery (Hi, Chris!) and it’s still sitting there on my screen, in the same spot.

The good part is I think the tide is mostly on its way out again. I hope so, because it was rough this time. It’s been a long time since it took me off my feet.

I managed to keep the crops watered, my head on, and wasn’t an asshole to my wife, so really, best case scenario, given the realities. And I didn’t eat that box of donuts I almost went out and bought Friday morning.

An Introduction

I’m new at WordPress, and that’s largely because I have abandoned Facebook and I needed a place to put my thoughts and pictures. But it dawns on my that as this is a more public venue, people are seeing this that have no idea about me or my history. So this is in the way of a short introduction to me and this blog.

My name is Mark Felps. I spent twenty five years as an IT professional, managing a growing mental illness, until I could no longer control it and I had a massive mental breakdown that cost me my career, some friends, and nearly my wife and life.

In the wreckage of all that, I sought therapy and a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, with rapid cycling and mixed features, which basically means my moods are wildly out of control and sometimes I get profound depression along with hypo- and hypermania.

But, as I said, I got therapy and learned some CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and I got a good mood stabilizer, and now things are a lot better. Not perfect, but better.

And now I garden, I do woodwork, and I write. And this is a place for me to talk about those things, as well as my continuing mental health challenges. Because I think we SHOULD be talking about these things.

I felt very alone when I went through this, and since then I have talked to many people who have experienced the same problems, and also thought they were alone. And we aren’t alone. The world is full of us, and if we don’t say that, we’ll always feel alone.

So welcome to Plants, Paper, and Wood, my personal blog.